Ponderings, Reflections, and the Pursuit of Cars...

Things here have been a little topsy-turvy for me lately...at least that's kind of how I feel at the moment. I have been pondering several things lately. So many things to think about, so little time to deal with it all. One thing that I've been pondering is this: What exactly IS a missionary? Listen, that may be an odd question to you, but I've learned something about myself recently that puts that into perspective. Dictionary.com defines a missionary as:1.a person sent by a church into an area to carry on evangelism or other activities, as educational or hospital work. 2.a person strongly in favor of a program, set of principles, etc., who attempts to persuade or convert others. 3.a person who is sent on a mission. 
The reason I have been asking this of myself is because in the past several years as I was running the Helping Hands Food Ministry there were a few people who would mention to me that I was living the life of a missionary and should look at it as such. I kind of thought they were crazy! Recently, someone said something to me about being a missionary and that I should look at my life as the life of a missionary. I began to realize that this is truly what I have been and am doing. Wow! That is interesting to me. Haha, as I read those three definitions, I realized that all three of those describe my life. 
Why does it matter? What am I actually thinking? Well, that is where the reflection portion of my post comes in. Remember when I talked about God telling me I was like the donkey that Jesus rode into Jerusalem? God spoke to me and told me that the Master has use of me. I've been trying to figure out for a long time how on earth I am going to keep working at my job, still do the work that I do at the church, and travel as we go on the Mane Event Tour very soon. People have mentioned to me that I should  look into being supported as a missionary, but I've just kind of shrugged off the notion...until now. Now I understand that this is probably something I will need to look into very soon. I'm not really sure what that will look like for me, so I'm asking you all to pray for me. I know that God is my provider. I trust Him. I want to find out how He wants me to be funded. So please, pray with me about this and if God speaks to you about it, let me know!
So, what else have I been reflecting on? Well, I've been thinking a lot about God's face. Yes, His face. He DOES have one, you know! I often pray and talk to Him about how much I want to be a seeker of His face, rather than just a seeker of His hands. Why? Well, because I want to get to know Him for who He is and learn all about Him. That would be seeking His face, so to speak. But seeking His hands is what I, and so many others, do too often. I get focused on what He can do for me or give me. But I want to know Him. I want to know what He wants to talk about and what He wants to do today. I want to know what He has to say-whether it's about me, others, or just in general. I often pray for other people that God would hold them so close to His heart that they would begin to hear the way His heart beats for them. I'm learning to pray this over myself as well.
I recently was going through a few rough patches all at once. Honestly, there was one day for a couple of hours where things got pretty dark. I was listening to the lies and accusations of the enemy and it was not good at all. I cannot even begin to describe what I was feeling that day. Suddenly, I received a text from a dear friend in another region of the country just telling me she loved me and was sending me a hug. I lost it. I needed to hear right at that moment that someone loved me just because I was me. I didn't even pray that way, it just happened at that exact second. God is so good, isn't He? He truly cares about every part of our lives. 
Haha, the other day my little niece had hurt her finger (it was not at all a bad hurt, but it was band-aid worthy...then again at 3, what isn't?!) and I just said a quick prayer that Jesus would heal it and make it all better. A couple of hours later she ran up to me and showed me that it was all better and I asked if Jesus had made it better for her. Without skipping a beat she said to me, "Yes He did! Aww, Jesus is so sweet!" Out of the mouths of babes...yep Addi, He sure is!
Ok, my last little tidbit here for you. If you did not already know, I had AWESOME news this week. I have been in need of a car to replace the one I was driving. If I even began to describe to you how awful that car had become and just how dangerous driving/riding in it was...oh man! To those who have had to endure right along with me (both in the search and in the car) I want to say thank you. No really, thank you! I have been loved by these people so much in recent weeks. BUT...the car search is over and, as Addi will tell you, Jesus bought me a new car! Now, in the natural that is not exactly how this happened, but in the eyes of a 3 year old, she prayed, Jesus promised her he would get me a good car, and here it is:

Yep. Jesus came through, as is His custom. I have awesome people who helped Him out and I love them dearly. But praise God the search, stress, and inhaling gas fumes is over and I have a very tangible reminder that I need to have faith like a 3 year old. 
Well friends, that's about it. If you have made it this far, I hope that you have read something worth pondering and reflecting over. If you have, then ask God about it and do what He says! Peace and love to you all!