While I was out walking, almost immediately, God began speaking to me through nature and the scenery all around me. First of all, it's a beautiful day today! The sun is shining, the sky is SO blue, and the grass and trees are such a beautiful green. I should post a picture for you...hang on a minute:
Anyway, as I was walking I was talking to God and just thanking Him and telling Him how beautiful everything is and talking about the colors and the beauty of it all. I was thanking Him for all of it and I mentioned how green everything is and suddenly He said to me that it is the rich color of green that comes through after a long, difficult winter. I began to cry. It has been a harsh winter season, hasn't it? There has been some of the bitterest of cold during this winter. But that isn't what He was talking about, at least not really.
Just as it has been winter season in the natural and has only recently turned to spring, I have been experiencing a harsh winter season in my soul as well. Many of you know some of what I have been going through. I've talked about some of it a lot, really. Already this year I have gone through some major medical challenges with my grandma that has left her not quite herself. This has brought about some interesting and terrible family dynamics that I would have never dreamed possible. All the while I, and many in my family, have had to push aside the emotions of it all in order to help her fight through this somewhat unknown illness to get her to the point she is at today. Then suddenly, now that the initial severity is over and she is safe and, for the most part, well....well, now we all have been able to look back at what we've just been through over the past 3 months and we've all begun to grieve the loss of what once was and can never be again. In the meantime there have been challenges at work, challenges in the ministry, challenges in close friendships...and some of this may never be resolved. There have been days when I have been happy and days when I have been sad. There have been days when I didn't think I could take the next step or even get out of bed because the stress and the weight of it has been so heavy. Can you relate?
All of that adds up to a very harsh winter season. Have you been there? Are you there now? Let me share what I felt God was speaking to me about it. I have had a strong desire to read the book of Daniel lately. I especially have been hanging out in Daniel chapter 4. A long time ago God used that chapter to teach me about His sovereignty and how what He says goes and that's that. But I was having trouble figuring out what He was trying to say to me this week. Today He told me that, just as Nebuchadnezzar said at the end of the chapter, "...all His works are true and His ways just, and He is able to humble those who walk in pride", He has been taking me through a process to bring about a new level of humility. Humility is the key to authority. I need so much more authority in my life (as in authority over the power of darkness)! He also reminded me of James 4:6, "...God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble."
I don't know about you, but I CERTAINLY do not want God to resist me! And boy, do I need more of His grace and favor in my life! During this time of stress, grief, and uncertainty I have been learning from God more sides of Himself. There have been many ups and downs, but through it all He has remained faithful and constant at ALL times! He has never said one thing to hurt me, has never been harsh, has never turned His back on me, has never grieved me. He has been there for me to turn to at every moment! Why? Because He loves me with an unconditional and everlasting love! And yet He gently teaches me how to become more like Him. So today's lesson, God can and will humble those who walk in pride. Oh Father, may it never be me! May I learn to always walk in humility and be an example of this to all who come across my path! I never want God to resist me and I never want to lead anyone astray by my actions or words!
I'll write more about what is happening these days in a few days, but I had to share about my walk this morning. I hope it speaks to your heart just as it did to mine! I'll leave you with this YouTube video that kind of sums up what I'm talking about. I'm singing it as a sincere prayer! Love and peace to you all!
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